Monday, October 3, 2011

Number 8 Wire


WARNING: the word to picture ratio of this post leans heavily in the words direction....also this post is rated PG-13 due to some necessary word choices.

Number 8 wire,” Jono said to me (Jono is Tori's kiwi friend-boy or something, more on him later). “Well, I guess that wouldn't mean anything to you,” he added. I had asked him to describe a unifying aspect of the kiwi character.

He went on to explain that number 8 wire used to be used to fix fence posts or tractors or anything else really—like how we ski racers like to use duct tape—and was a sort of hallmark of a kiwi do-it-yourselfer, the hardy bloke, the lifeblood of New Zealand...yada yada.

On the bus drive from Christchurch to Dunedin back in September I was struck, I mean really struck, almost to disappointment, by how similar my surroundings looked to home. Not home home, like Traverse City home, but like the drive from Winter Park, CO to Montrose or Craig or even the drive from Traverse City to Ann Arbor if you avoid the highways. There were lots of farms, not the quaint agrarian fantasy farms one encounters in Switzerland, Austria, and Italy, but mucky farms just like the ones from home: horses, cows, sheep, mud, tractors, barbed wire. 

What I had failed to realize before coming here is that New Zealand is, for the most part a nation of farmers. Despite the small land area, there are just over 4 million inhabitants to spread around the whole of both islands—that's like taking the population of Los Angeles, and spreading it out over an area the size of over half of the U.S. eastern seaboard. 



So, as you can see, there is a lot more land to go around than you might initially anticipate when looking at the little smudge on the map next to Australia.

I had been under the impression that the pull himself up by the bootstraps, hardworking, callused-handed farmer was extinct—wiped off the map by Monsanto, Earl Butz era “get big or get out” growing policies of the 1970s, and corporate agriculture, just as the dinos were ended by the asteroid. 

As it turns out, there is a place hidden away in the south pacific where these guys live on, not just on the labels of my butter or milk, but on grassy hillsides. Their cows and sheep eat grass—that is worth repeating GRASS, not bastardized genetically modified corn-product they sell their meats and dairies at the farmer's market on Saturdays and to various grocers around NZed, and they remain profitable. In fact, New Zealand farmers lead the world in dairy exports, selling over 95% of their dairy products overseas.

I digress—number 8 wire—ever seen horses that look like this. 


Or a cow thing that looks like this (I saw this guy on the side of the road). 




These are the animal equivalents of human kiwis. What I'm trying to get at here is that these people are rugged. The winters here are cold, not the kind of cold we are used to in the U.S., brrrr snow outside>>>warm cozy inside. Here on the south island, once winter starts you are cold—cold, wet, and windblown. You will not stop being cold for the next six months, save for your morning showers. It isn't that the kiwis couldn't have central heat if they wanted it, it just isn't something that culturally they have decided they need. They are tough and self sufficient and proud of it.

I briefly mentioned in an earlier post that I sat next to a direct entry midwife on the plane. She told me that when she worked at home births out in the rural areas of New Zealand, families were much more tolerant of complications relating to birth. Life is hard, shit happens, sometimes sheep have trouble lambing, sometimes mamas have trouble baby-ing. Your gut reaction may be “How could families tolerate problems relating to birth!?!?! What terrible parents! Why wouldn't they go to the city to have every resource at their disposal?!?!”

Well, not unlike much of the rest of the rural world, transportation to the city is very difficult. The roads are two way, windy, and often mountainous. Secondly, as much as physicians, midwives, doulas, mamas, papas would like to think they can control birth outcomes, much remains that is simply outside of anyone's control. There is something admirably zen about that attitude.

Jono also explained to me that this hardiness carries over into the kiwi psyche. According to him, they are not a particularly sentimental group. Emotions are a sign of weakness, especially in men--similar to our cowboys other other manly men. If feeling troubled one should simply "take a tough pill" as he put it and "get over it." I certainly do not want to draw lines of causation where none exist, but kiwi youth (15-24) have the second highest rate of suicide in the world (behind Finland for boys and Japan for girls). 

Jono actually serves as a pretty solid case study of the kiwi bloke icon. He is hard working; he collects dust at a mine in 12 hour shifts, working through the night half of the time. He is also highly skilled in kiwi sarcasm, which is much more cutting and difficult to decipher than other nations' sarcasms. Ask any international student in our complex about a unifying characteristic of the kiwis they've encountered, and they will tell you the sarcasm. He is also very chill. I'm having a hard time getting used to the anything goes, kind of laissez-faire like you ain't nevah seen it way of going. I'm sure I will get used to it though, and my bitten nails will thank me for it when that day comes.

I don't really know how to conclude this post, but I think you get the gist:

- Kiwis = hardy, self sufficient cowboys

I may, if I'm feeling brave, dedicate the next post to a feminist analysis of kiwi women's sexual liberation and the record breaking incidence of sexual infections in the greater Dunedin area.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Workin' for a Livin'...



Today I was introduced to Cafe Roma. Not coincidentally, today I also had a moment of lemon-induced transcendence. Cafe Roma is a "long black" espresso pull with a twist of lemon, served with a side of hot water. David, that barista at my new job made me this little delight for my first day of work.Ed, a dutch expat, owns Bakery, the creatively named establishment where I now sell breads and pastries. Ed took me on to give himself more time in the evenings to spend with his five year old daughter.




The cafe has a distinctly European feel, and it's proprietor takes a great deal of pride in the quality of his goods.

I've also started working at one of our flat's favorite haunts: Indian Spice, home of $10 curry Mondays. Auckland-born Terry is a short Maori woman who manages the joint and happily offered me a job when I casually inquired last Monday.

Indian Spice has seven tables and two hindi chefs: one naan chef and Mama who does the curries. There's also a spastic roundish geology student who helps out. His name is Tel. Between the five of us we manage pretty well.

Yesterday we day tripped out to St. Kilda beach and played in the sand a bit. Tori took some beautiful pictures.






Salute the sea.












Resistance sprints with monster kelp.




Training (baby steps). Contingency plan no. 1 if med school falls through = Cirque du Sol-Ass



Ms. Sarah Phillips. The pride of her Majesty and the rest of the U.K.

Cirque du Sol-Ass the sequel.






Brother Matty is is a perpetual state of stoked. Between the sun, surf, and scenery this bro's stoke-o-meter has been off the charts for months now.




Cliffy the vegan ninja acrobat. His parents were dancers or wizards or something like that….either way I'm pretty sure I will edge him out when it comes time for Cirque du Sol-Ass tryouts.


I thought I would leave you with this guy, an ad to convince Australians to invade New Zealand.


My next post will be dedicated to detailing how and why NZed is like the wild wild west and how rugged, leather-handed Robert Redford babies are shepherding and cowboying their way through life down here. Either that or why kiwis wear pantyhose with jean shorts.












Sunday, September 25, 2011

Holey Ozone, it's Lovely Here!!!



Wanaka is perfect. It has the most delightful ski town charm and is nestled right on the shores of Lake Wanaka to boot. Wanaka is the base camp for six internationally rated ski areas and the largest heli-skiing area outside of North America. It is also surrounded by vineyards that produce some of the world's best pinot noir. If there is something else one could look for in a town I'm just not seeing it.



After renting some Rossis at a ski shop, we scaled the xthousand vertical feet to Cardrona's base. The snow was hard, too hard for the buttery edges on our skis, but it was sunny and the views were spectacular. There was an alpine race that day and at the sight of the mini racers Tori and I waxed nostalgic. We were also lucky enough to benefit from the gaping hole in the ozone--goggle tans in half the time!!!


Friday, September 23, 2011

The sky is always bluer on the other side of the equator...



Dunedin sits at the base of the Otago Peninsula, a mountainous bit of land dotted with sheepies and farm houses. Yesterday we took a very scenic drive out the peninsula stopping along the way at Sandfly Bay bay to oogle some seals and run around on the sand dunes.













At the very tip of the peninsula, Taiaroa Head, there is an albatross colony. Unfortunately we missed the last tour of the day, but the view from the rocky bluffs was stunning, and we got a look at some other birds.





Tori had a field trip this morning with her nautical studies class. They went out on the ocean again, so she got seasick again and is now upstairs sleeping it off.

Since Tori was busy, I tagged along with Cliffy and Jono to the farmer's market and then on to Oamaru with Jono to get some new snowboard laces for our ski trip tomorrow. The drive was gorgeous, the fields were most green, and the mountains off on the horizon still had snow up top, which gives me a bit of hope for good snow tomorrow, despite it being so late in the season. (Side note: we are expecting a front to bring snow into Dunedin tonight)



Being the sweet tour guide that he is, Jono was sure to pull over at the extra scenic parts and point out the good surfing beaches. We even swung by his old boarding school and had a chat with his principal.

Tonight is an especially big night for World Cup Rugby here in Dunedin. England will play Romania at the new stadium here in town; the POMs of 480 Leith are excited about that. And New Zealand plays France; after being edged out of the 2007 RWC quarter finals by the French 18-20 the kiwis are ready to settle the score, or taking a Maori perspective, to restore ever important balance.

From September 24, 2011